Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...

Yes, you guys are right! I’ve been missing :P

eternalsunshinex3 — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 21:53:11 +0000

And I’m so sorry for that! But I am AMAZED that anyone even reads my stuff

It’s cool and I’m hoping you will all continue too…the only problem with me keeping a blog is that I’m very inconsistent

I always start writing and stop writing. i didn’t write for a while bc I had no motivation, but if I had known you all were interested, I would have kept writing.

Thanks for all the comments and support…and finally what most of you have asked about…

WHAT HAPPENED?

For the 500 days of Autumn post,

Well this guy ended up having a girlfriend…I didn’t find out til he added me on facebook lol so sorry to crush the romance and all the magic, but it was never brought up in conversation before. We remained good friends til the end of the year, but after knowing that, i would never pursue a guy in a committed relationship.

And as for me? Well now I’m in my own relationship.

Is that what you guys want to hear about?

[Day 3] He makes me feel not so alone…

eternalsunshinex3 — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:20:02 +0000

Maybe i’ll get through this.

Day 2 [Leave me alone...PLEASE!]

eternalsunshinex3 — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 10:24:25 +0000

Waking up to 15 texts from the same person is disappointing.

Especially if they’re not who you wish they were :/

Day 1 [Never]

eternalsunshinex3 — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:45:43 +0000

Never. Never ever ever in a million years.

Not until hell freezes over.

Regarding my “500 days of autumn”

eternalsunshinex3 — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:12:47 +0000

I’ve gotten a lot of questions as to if my 500 days of Autumn actually worked out and I haven’t replied, because I don’t want to ruin the magic for anyone whose actually stumbled across my posts.

The funny thing is that, no, I did not have my 500 days of Autumn, but I unexpectedly stumbled across my Winter (:
After a season of brooding over a bad relationship filled with heart break and confusion, my love found me exactly where I least expected it.

See, the thing about your own magical 500 days is that you can’t go looking for it (my mistake), but it has to find you. I’m in the middle of my own 500 days of winter and it’s fantastic, except I’m on the Summer side of things. Not to say that I plan to end this relationship anytime soon, but I denied him. I didn’t want a relationship or to be with someone, but love hit me over the head and refused to let me go.

I don’t know what the future will hold, but I’m happy. And that’s all that matters right now.

I’m loving my 500 days.

Should I record them into posts?

Would anyone actually read them? Just out of curiosity.

Things…

eternalsunshinex3 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:11:50 +0000

Polar bears, rubber bands, big hoodies, pencils, stupid/boring clothes, bandaids, my glove compartment, his couch, TV commercials, Jacka**, songs, books, Alice in Wonderland, weird movies, falling asleep on someone, cute texts, saved texts, smiling when you look at me, stupid jokes, making chapters, our sense of humor, sarcasm, holding hands…

that remind me of you.

Positivity.

eternalsunshinex3 — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:27:29 +0000

Things do get easier everyday.

I just need to stop focusing so much.

When I clear my mind…

When I draw, sing, create, laugh…

When I actually LIVE…

I guess it’s not so bad (:

I hate emotions.

eternalsunshinex3 — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:46:07 +0000

Why do I let my emotions control my life? I’m so jealous.

Because he is exactly opposite of me, so i know for a fact he’s not thinking about it like i am.

No one really understands me either. Why I care so much or let it bother me like this, but I just can’t help it?

I feel sick when I think about it…about him. I hate that I’m letting it slip through my fingers again.

This is exactly what I swore that I would never let happen again.

And here it is…

So what am I doing?

What do you think?

Should I fight for this?

I tried…

eternalsunshinex3 — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 15:51:03 +0000

I told you EVERYTHING.

DO you know how hard that was for me? To fight for you? To fight for something? I never have before; not like this. And I don’t even know why I wanted this so badly.

I don’t even know what’s happening to me…where I’m going…what I’m doing. I just know I’m not in the right places. I need to be better.

I don’t know where I went wrong. How i got this far…and how to get back…or honestly, even if i CAN or if i want to.

I just don’t know who I am anymore. or what i want.

All I know, is that I wanted you, but now everything has changed.

And maybe this is my punishment, my karma, for only wanting you and forgetting everything else.

I wish I had abilities. Patience, strength.

God, I need you, and i know it.

But what am I doing?

What’s going on? Help me.

Rescue me. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m drowning.

I’m an unfaithful Israel trapped in the arms of Egypt.

And no matter how many times I stray, you are still there.

Why?

That doesn’t even make me feel how it should and I hate myself for it.

God…speak.

What I wish i had said to you.

eternalsunshinex3 — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 05:14:54 +0000

I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re so smart and interesting and I love being with you. I hate it when you’re not around. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand why i like you so much, and why I want to make this work so badly. I know you think it’s all drama and fights, but it really isn’t. We can work past that, if you’ll let me. I don’t want to be without you. You make me so happy when you’re around, even when you’re being rude. I can never stay mad at you. Yes, we’re opposite, but that’s why we’re interesting. That’s why it’s magical, because we have every reason not to be together, but we can be. I don’t want you to be another guy to slip through my fingers; especially you, because you’re so different to me. These past few days, I’ve realized how much I like you. I miss being around you. I don’t know how you feel or if you even still like me, or care about me, but I haven’t been able to shake you from my mind. Everything I see reminds me of you or stupid stuff we’d say or do. Just let me show you what we can be. Don’t give up before we got a chance to try.