I know it’s been a year, but I’m back and It’s time to write…Day 1? All over again?

It’s weird really. It all started with my wisdom teeth. I got them removed last Friday and it’s been almost a week. How can something so minute change your perspective on so much? And on top of all of that, I have a 102.5 fever.

So here I am, at home, forced to be with my thoughts.I haven’t thought in so long, because unfortunately, and I might lose you all for this (if I haven’t already), it didn’t work.

But when does it ever?

I wrote those posts maybe 4+ years ago. Who knows what they want when they’re still young?

Anyways, it’s still an interesting story, I promise. It’s not 500 days, but it’s the gut wrenching story from my heart. And I’ll tell you all about it now…

He opened up to me fast. One of the first things he told me was that his father died. I gave him my condolences but he just smiled and shrugged it off. “It was a long time ago.” He said.

We had only known each other for a week and I already felt a strange attraction to him. Not because of how he looks, or dresses, because honestly, jeans and a T-shirt were a regular full-on outfit for him.

Simple and clean.

Exactly what I needed in my chaotic world of a broken mess. I was so young then, so childish, I never knew what I wanted.

We stayed up talking all night.

We had “the talk”

You know? That one.

The one that gives you butterflies and makes you feel like you’re floating just because they’re giving you the privilege of entering their mind. The darkest part of a person’s body. Within it lie fear, regrets, sadness, but most importantly depth.

See, I’m the type of girl who needs that depth in a relationship. It doesn’t have to be crazy emotional, but it has to be enough to spark me past a physical attraction and make me realize I actually want this person for them. Maybe that’s what went wrong in my own 500 days.

Picture the one you love and put Rosie O’Donnell’s body or Jay Leno’s chin over their personality and tell me honestly, would you still be there?

People say that it’s too harsh, but honestly.

I am sick of settling.

I want that romance that will sweep me off my feet and give me butterflies just by hearing their voice. And here he was, right in front of me. But like I said, I was young and stupid…